We consider a pair of isoperimetric problems arising in physics. The first concerns a Schrdinger operator in L^2(\mathbb{R}^2) with an attractive interaction supported on a closed curve , formally given by (<i>x</i>); we ask which curve of a given length maximizes the ground state energy. In the second problem we have a loop-shaped thread in L^2(\mathbb{R}^2), homogeneously charged but not conducting, and we ask about the (renormalized) potential-energy minimizer. Both problems reduce to purely geometric questions about inequalities for mean values of chords of . We prove an isoperimetric theorem for <i>p</i>-means of chords of curves when <i>p</i> 2, which implies in particular that the global extrema for the physical problems are always attained when is a circle. The letter concludes with a discussion of the <i>p</i>-means of chords when <i>p</i> > 2.